


Still Don't Know My Name?

by beforethemask



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Clubbing, Dancing, From Parents, Glitter, Hallucinations, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Post-Canon, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27598279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beforethemask/pseuds/beforethemask
Summary: Persona 5: Royal spoilers.It has been six years since Kurusu Akira and the Phantom Thieves defeated Maruki and freed the world from his false reality.  Akira has spent those six years trying to forget about the red-eyed boy he couldn't save. One day, Akira gets an early morning call from Ann, inviting him to a themed party at a nightclub.  The theme?Glitter.Akira hesitantly agrees to go hoping for one night where he can just have fun and forget about the burden weighing on his mind.He should have known that it's impossible to forget someone when you see their ghost everywhere you go.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Kudos: 26





	Still Don't Know My Name?

_The laughs and cries of the world’s voices.  
A temperature that never feels hot nor cold: just uncomfortably in the middle.  
False smiles that tried to sell him their happiness. Doctors in lab coats clutching their clipboards, loudly declaring that their subjects were just perfect.  
Perfectly happy.  
Won’t Maruki-sama be proud?  
The sound of gunshots- bullets spraying against pleading shadows.  
His teammates' eyes looking at him-asking for direction.  
The drumming of his heart each time he saved his friends from death in the Palace. The mental acceptance of being close to death himself, before his friends saved him and reminded him to be alive.  
Red and black swirling all around him. Dragging him further and further into the darkness. The beating of his heart as he looked into deep red eyes before running after Maruki, knowing this was the last time he would ever look into them again. _  
\---

Akira woke up to wetness on his cheeks and a pounding headache. Morgana lay sound asleep in the nook of his legs. He looked peaceful: unburdened by the world. Akira tried not to shift the bed as he rubbed the wetness from his eyes and unraveled himself from his prison of sleep. On the inside, he felt the opposite of how Morgana looked. His experience as a teenager had made him grow up fast and had forced him to learn that the world was a combination of darkness, light, and the grey that laid in between. Akira was a 22-year man in age, but a 70-year-old in life experience. He wouldn’t have changed his time with the Phantom Thieves for anything- Maruki’s false reality had literally helped him to understand that he never wanted what they went through to change. The Thieves would always have his back no matter what. They were friends for life: bonded by their joys and sadness. Oh, and bound through the experience of taking down literal. Fucking. Gods. Can’t forget that. When everyone had to go their separate ways at the end of Akira’s stay in Tokyo, he had felt sad but hopeful that things would be a bit better when he went back to Inaba to live with his parents.

He was wrong. His relationship with his parents was one thing that would always stay the same. When he returned home, they let him know that his second arrest had brought so much shame on their family, that his time at home would be spent in utter isolation. They didn’t want to have anything to do with him, and it seemed like they wanted to punish him for making their lives miserable. He was to stay in his room when he came home- no fun, no recreational activities, and no connection to the outside world (except for his phone and laptop). Akira tried to find a job in town, but because of his reputation, no one wanted to hire him. As a result, he spent a lot of time doing jobs online so that he could leave and go back to Tokyo the first chance he got. Honing his intellect through battles at school (exams) and strategic battles in the Metaverse had paid off, and Akira was easily able to get work through online tutoring. While Akira had millions of yen from his time in the Metaverse, he had left it with Sojiro for when he eventually moved back to the city. If he could avoid any questions from his parents about why he suddenly had enough yen to move out a month into being back in Inaba- the easier his life would be. They’d probably call him a thief. Which, while accurate, it was not really what Akira was aiming for in the whole, “turning my reputation around” department. Akira had let them know about his online tutoring job, and their response had been predictable. Because, well, there was no response. He had also let them know that he was planning on moving out as soon as he finished his third year of school at Yasogami. Again. No response.

When Akira graduated high school, he packed his bags, left Inaba, and never looked back. He returned to Tokyo and stayed in his old room at Leblanc until he finally found his first apartment. It was small but cozy. The best part was it was pet friendly. Him and Morgana could live in peace without the pressure of his parents’ rules and expectations looming over his head. Akira knew that they would always be there- in some part of his brain. At least now he could put physical distance between him and his parents to help their voices a bit quieter. Even better, he could go and visit Leblanc whenever he wanted and spend time with Sojiro and Futaba. Those were his favorite moments. Being with his chosen family. 

“Akira..Akira…AKIRA. Are you listening to me?” 

Akira bolted to sit straight up in his bed, and accidentally kicked Morgana in the process. Morgana let out a yelp and scratched his leg. Akira buried his face in his arms and groaned. So much for that peace he was after. “Sorry, Morgana. I was having some nightmares again and I’m not fully awake yet.” 

The scowl on Morgana’s face turned to a look of concern. He leaped up to sit in a spot next to Akira- clear of kicking distance. “I guess I’ll forgive you this time. I know what those nightmares are like. I used to have them all the time when I was trying to uncover my memories.” Morgana flicked his tail and stared out the bedroom window, seemingly lost in thought. “Akira…was it another nightmare about…you know. Ake-“ 

Before Morgana could finish his sentence, Akira’s alarm went off. Akira slammed his hand down on his end table to try and silence his phone. It took a few tries, but by the time he had successfully turned it off, Akira was ready to go back to bed and never turn his alarm on again. 

It was a shame that he chose to live with a cat that cared too much about his sleep schedule.

With a determined, “RAWWR,” Morgana leaped onto Akira’s chest, and looked him square in the eyes. “Did you uh, notice the time? You forgot to change your alarm for your shift at Crossroads, and now you’re going to be late.” 

Akira’s eyes widened as he looked from Morgana to his phone, and then his phone to Morgana. The clock on his phone was evilly glaring up at him with a bright blue light, letting him know that it was 10 minutes to his shift. “No, no, no, no, NO!” Akira bolted from bed with the energy he usually felt when he was on his third cup of coffee from Leblanc’s. “Morgana, why didn’t you tell me?” 

Morgana huffed as he watched Akira scramble around the room in his attempts to get dressed. “Well I did, but then you kicked me, and I got distracted!” Morgana looked at his claws and sighed as Akira put on two different colored socks. “You know this wouldn’t happen if you _actually_ went to bed on time instead of staring at your phone for hours on end?” 

Akira wanted to fight back a sassy retort, but he was too distracted by his lack of clean shirts to fight with Morgan on this subject. He sighed as he pulled a black shirt over his head and grabbed his Crossroads apron. “Morgana. One day you and I need to talk about how you’re still obsessed with my sleep schedule like I’m 16 again, but for now, I really, really need to go and prepare myself for Lala-chan’s wrath.” Akira grabbed his bag and darted out the door waving goodbye to Morgana. 

Once he heard the door lock, Morgana sighed and curled back up in his favorite spot on the bed. “What’s so bad about wanting a proper sleep? It’s the best part of the day!” Muttering to himself, Morgana drifted off into a peaceful sleep about playing in a pool filled to the brim with sushi.

\---

Akira's heart was pounding the entire time he was working at Crossroads. He had apologized to Lala for being late (with the promise of bringing in good sake for tomorrow’s shift), but he couldn’t shake the shame he felt about his tardiness. This happened at least once a month when Akira’s mental health was struggling, and he began to lose track of everything in his life. His shame around being tardy today reminded him of his parents and how they would yell at him when he was late coming home from school, or when he forgot to do the dishes. They’d yell and yell until he felt broken and beaten down- like a dog that was trying to be house-trained. Unlike his parents, Lala was always gracious and treated Akira with empathy and respect. She reminded him a bit of Sojiro except she was less gruff in her manner of speaking. Akira had started working at Crossroad again last year when he quit university before entering his final year. Lala had been more than happy to have Akira back and joked with him that, because he was old enough to serve alcohol now, she expected him to put on triple the charm for her customers. Lala’s kindness was not only for the customers, but it extended to Akira as well. 

When he ran into the bar today (with sweat dripping off of his face) he had bent in a deep bow to offer his apologies. Lala had just tapped Akira on the shoulder with her fan (black and white today with a detailed assortment of flowers). “Oh, dear. And with how busy it is today too. How could I ever forgive you?” Lala drawled as Akira looked around the bar in a panic. 

It was empty. 

“Just kidding!” Lala laughed and observed Akira’s messy state with a twinkle in her eye. “As if I could ever be mad at my hardest working employee. Are you getting enough sleep? Those bags around your eyes always tell me stories that your lips would never tell.”

Akira looked at Lala and gave a sheepish shrug. He put on his apron and smiled at her. “You and my cat are awfully concerned about my sleep schedule. Do you two talk or something?”

Lala laughed and started walked back to the counter. “There’s a smile! Don’t take life so seriously. You’re too young for that.” Akira waved her away while smiling and got to work, making sure that everything was in order at the bar. 

Lala always knew how to bring out the best in him. As workplaces go, there was nothing that could compare to Crossroads. He worked here during the nights from Fridays-Sundays. On Mondays-Thursdays, he helped run errands as an assistant at a major business firm. That one was less fun. Everyone there was so stiff and serious, and he got yelled at a lot when he didn’t pick up breakfast sandwiches for the coffee run that occurred at 3:00 in the afternoon (Seriously, who eats breakfast sandwiches at 3:00 p.m. Why can’t you just eat a regular sandwich?). Akira much preferred the atmosphere at Crossroads with Lala. It helped to remind him that there was still some fun to be had when you were an adult.

The bar started getting busier closer to 11:30. Crossroads had a special on drinks at the stroke of 11:59 p.m. on Fridays, and it usually brought a lot of the locals who were doing their rounds in Shinjuku. The bar was humming with conversation and the night showed no sign of slowing down. Akira loved Crossroads like this- he was making a lot of tips tonight, as he put on the charm while serving customers their drinks. He had learned to do a lot of bartender tricks and had gotten good at juggling cocktail shakers while pouring the alcohol in a creative manner. Akira was mixing up cosmopolitans for a woman and her red-faced friend when he glanced something out of the corner of his eye:

The back of brunette hair.  
A tan peacoat.  
A plaid patterned scarf tucked into it. 

When the head turned around, angry, red eyes were boring into his.

The noise in the bar went from a comfortable hum to the piercing sound of feedback from a microphone that only existed in Akira’s head. A spiral of red and black began to fill the area where the brunette stood and spread out to engulf Akira’s. Akira could hear thousands of voices crashing into the feedback noise. The loudest one screamed at him: “I’m a little busy here, so DO YOUR GODDAMN JOB!”

Akira dropped the cocktail shakers mid-juggle. 

That brought Akira back to reality. The feedback sound and voices in his ears disappeared and the noise in the bar returned to the hum of conversation. The woman and her friend stared at Akira as he came back to reality. Akira placed his hand behind his head and apologized for the commotion. He quickly made another cosmopolitan concoction (without the juggling this time, much to the customer’s relief), and excused himself to the washroom. 

Akira gripped the bathroom sink and closed his eyes as a sharp, electric pain exploded in his head. It felt like he had been zapped with Zio, but Akira knew what he saw in the bar hadn’t been Pixie or Agathion. Hell, it couldn’t have been. The Metaverse no longer fucking exists. Neither did the man Akira that thought he had seen at the corner of the bar. 

_Akechi Goro._

Akira looked at himself in the mirror. He reminded himself that this had only happened a few times before so there was nothing to be concerned about.

What the hell. Who was he kidding- it had happened a lot. Ever since the Metaverse disappeared for good. He had been seeing Akechi all over the place. The first time it had happened, he had run-up to a person yelling Akechi’s name. It turned out that it had been someone else. Akira groaned thinking about all the people he must have freaked out. One time it happened when he was meeting Makoto for ramen on one of his trips into the city from Inaba. He had seen what looked like Akechi standing with her, ran up, and touched them on the shoulder. When the person turned around, it was not Akechi, but a very confused and scared looking girl from Makoto’s university. Akira had apologized multiple times over to her and Makoto, but he was pretty sure that girl had told Makoto what a creep she thought he was after that. This kind of stuff happens to people all the time right? You think you see someone you know, but when you get closer to them you find out you made a mistake! It’s embarrassing at the moment, but nothing to worry about.

Maybe.  
It’s probably nothing.  
Right?

He looked at his reflection in the mirror and willed his doubts to go away. Akira had managed to convince himself over the last six years that it was nothing to worry about. However, over the last year, the headaches and pain began to accompany his “sightings” of Akechi. Then he started feeling like he was getting temporarily sucked into the Metaverse. Not ideal. Not ideal in the slightest. At least it didn’t last for long, so Akira assumed none of it was real. The voices were something new that only started up a couple of months ago. That kind of freaked him out. He hadn’t talked to any of his friends about it- although he suspected Morgana knew something was up judging by his comment about nightmares this morning. Oh god. Maybe he needed to talk to Takemi. Just…not yet.

Akira splashed his face with some water, washed his hands, and took a deep breath.  
Anything was better than living with his parents. Anything. Even dealing with ghosts of the past.

The first thing Akira did when he came back out was to check the spot where he thought he saw Akechi. The same Akechi-like person was still there, and he could see their face now. It was a man that was laughing with another man, about six drinks spread out amongst the two of them. The man had his arm around his friend (partner maybe?), and the two of them were yelling loudly in between laughter. They saw Akira as he walked out of the bathroom and called him over with a wave. As Akira approached the table, he could see that especially up-close, this man was not Akechi. Akira took their drink order and headed back to the bar. Geez. Maybe he needed real glasses after all. Not the fake ones he wore in high school. 

The rest of his shift went on as normal, and Akira breathed a sigh of relief as he turned the “Open” sign to “Closed.” He turned around and noticed Lala in one of the booths. She was looking at him with a watchful eye.

“Wanna take a load off?” Lala asked as she took a draw on her cigarette. Akira walked over and sat next to her in the dark purple booth. “Whew. What a night! Seemed like everyone was having a good ti-” 

Akira stopped and started coughing as Lala blew some smoke in his face. “Cut it out Lala! Is that any way to treat your hardest-working employee?” 

Lala smiled and put her cigarette out in the bowl on the table. “You were off tonight.” 

Akira stopped coughing and suddenly began very interested in picking at his fingernails. “Oh.” He figured the less he said, the less he would have to explain. 

“Hon-ey.” Lala dragged out the word like it was the last drag of her cigarette. “You don’t have to say anything. But I gotta admit, I was surprised those women still tipped you after you dropped their cosmos and then stared off into space like you’d seen a ghost.” 

Akira didn’t say anything this time. Just kept picking at his fingernails like a grade-schooler. “”Haha…yeah..must’ve been that devilish charm kicking in.” Akira gave Lala a half-smile. 

Lala clicked her tongue, got up from the booth, and walked over to the bar. She poured two glasses of sake and placed one in front of Akira. “Some spirits to chase the devils down then.” 

Akira gently took the glass and nursed it between his hands. “Thanks, Lala, sorry about that mess earlier. My hand must have slipped.” 

Lala grunted at him and took a big sip of her sake. “You’re just as bad at lying as Ohya-san,” She muttered as she stared into her drink. “Look, I’m not going to make you say what’s going on with you, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t talk. I’ve known you for a while now- ever since you came into my bar five years ago and asked to work here! I knew you were special. I also knew that if you were asking, something must have been going on in your life that made you want to work at a bar in Shinjuku of all places!” Akira watched Lala as she got up (still holding her sake) to check that the door was locked. She walked back to the table and fixed him with a firm and kind stare that reminded him of how Sojiro used to look at him when he returned home from his trips to Mementos.

“When Ohya-san eventually figured out that you were the leader of the Phantom Thieves…I wasn’t surprised, but I also worried a lot about you. That’s a lot for a young man to take on himself. Being responsible for saving the world, well it’s not like there’s a support group that can help you recover from that!” Lala laughed quietly to herself, and Akira laughed along with her. He’d had that same thought before too, and it was comforting to him know that Lala thought about his well-being. Almost like, well, a parent would. 

“I did try therapy back in high school you know. It’s just. . .the therapist had issues with patient confidentiality.” Akira laughed darkly and then took a giant gulp of his sake, downing the cup. Lala laughed and downed her cup as well. 

“Well honey, I’m glad that you at least tried it. Even if it was bad, you never know until you try.” Lala contemplated the empty glass and looked at Akira. Her face looked liked she wasn’t sure if she wanted to say what she was thinking. “When you lived in Tokyo that first year…in your free time, when you weren’t here, or at school, or doing whatever you needed to do to save the world…did you ever go to Jazz Jin in Kichijoji?”

Akira felt the color drain from his face. His headache that had somewhat subsided came back with a roaring force. Seeing the look on his face, Lala simply said, “Oh honey.” And reached across the table to squeeze Akira’s hand. “I won’t say much more, but-” 

Akira nervously laughed. “Lala we both know that’s a lie.” 

Lala squeezed Akira’s hand again and then withdrew her own with a hearty laugh. “Ah you do know me well. I’ll cut to the chase. I used to have a thing with Muhen-san. You know the owner?” 

Akira coughed on air.

“YOU AND MUHEN-SAN.” He looked at Lala with his mouth open. She just stared into space with a distant smile. 

“Oh yes. We go way back. But that’s a story for another day.” Akira’s eyes closed and he filed that golden nugget of gossip away for another day when he could interrogate Lala for more information. Preferably tomorrow when he brings in the good sake. Today he was just too tired. 

Lala ran her hands through her purple wig and cleared her throat. “I met up with him for coffee the other day for the first time in a couple of years. He asked how the bar was doing and I let him know that I had the best help I had in a long time. Muhen-san asked me who that was, and I told him your name.” Lala took a pause and lit another cigarette. “Funny enough he knew who you were already. Said you used to come into the club often with someone. That Detective Prince kid.”

Akira was grateful Lala didn’t say his full name. With how exhausted he was, he probably would have burst into tears hearing someone else say it. Despite his popularity from all those years ago, Tokyo seemed to have forgotten all about Akechi, and he hadn’t heard anyone (outside of the Phantom Thieves) say his name in a very long time. No one questioned where Akechi went because he didn’t have anyone. Except for Muhen. At the end of his second year at Shujin, Akira had gone by Jazz Jin on his last day in Tokyo before heading back to Inaba. Muhen had stopped him and asked if he knew where Akechi had been because weren’t they friends? Akira remembered how heartbroken he had been when he thought about whether Akechi considered him a friend, and told Muhen, “I don’t know.” 

His heart then shattered into pieces when Muhen gave him a funny look and told him that he thought they were because Akechi never brought anyone to Jazz Jin. Akira spent a lot of time in Inaba trying not to read too much into that. It just made the pain of losing Akechi even worse. Right now, he wasn’t at a point where he felt comfortable telling Lala that the “Detective Prince” had tried to put a bullet in his head. Akira figured that would make his feelings of grief just really, fucking confusing for anyone outside of the Phantom Thieves. Hell, his feelings toward Akechi were confusing for him most of the time too.

“Muhen-san had said he thought that you two were close and that he was concerned because he never saw that kid again. Thought it was odd, but that it might have been like what happens to our regulars: they move away, move to other bars or clubs, or just become so exhausted by the working world that they can’t come in anymore. Whatever happened between you and that Prince…” Lala trailed off. 

Akira inferred that she might be thinking about what words to say next, as she bit her lip and took a big sigh. 

“If whatever happened is affecting you right now…I just want you to know that you have a lot of people that care about you. Me, Ohya-san, and those friends you talk so much about. I’ll be frank: you don’t seem like you’re doing well right now. The spark is gone from you. You’re not sleeping. You need to have some fun and get some life back in you!” Lala smiled and leaned across the table to clap Akira on the back. “Life’s too short to be sad. Heheh- look at me! They should start selling posters with the inspirational shit I say!” 

Akira felt his body relax and laughed at Lala. “They totally should! I’ll talk to the advertising department of my firm next week! They’ll give me a promotion from assistant to a corporate zombie for sure.” Akira chuckled and stood up from the bar. Doing his best Yusuke impression, he took his fingers and framed Lala’s face. “They’ll call it… ‘Lala-chan’s Words to Live By!’ I can see it now! Your face and words will be in everyone’s office by next year!" 

Lala laughed and waved Akira away. “Alright, Akira-san. I think it’s about time for us old folks to hit the road. I’ll see you tomorrow for your shift. Maybe I’ll even tell you more about how I know Muhen-san.” Lala wiggled her eyebrows at Akira. He grabbed his belongings and walked towards the door, and as he did, his phone started ringing. Akira squinted at the blue light that shined like a beacon in the now dark bar.

_Incoming Call: Takamaki Ann_

Akira immediately swiped his screen to answer the call.

_“Akiraaaaaa.”_ Ann’s voice sounded high pitched and excited. _“How are youuuuu.”_

Akira laughed. “I’m fine Ann. And what do I owe this lovely drunken call at…Ahem.” He looked at his watch. “4:00a.m. Holy shit, I didn’t even realize it was this late.” Akira could hear loud music and laughter in the background of the call. 

_“Shut up! It’s not 4:00. It’s still earlyyy.”_

Akira smiled. It had been a while since he had spoken with Ann over the phone, and it sounded like she was having the time of her life. She was now internationally renowned as a top model and had a large following on social media. Ann had come a long way for the girl with lots of self-doubts. He was proud of her. She’d earned her success. 

_“Guess what! I’m going to be in Tokyo tomorrow. Flying in a couple of hours. Wanna be my plus one to a party? My date totally bailed on me, and I can’t go aloonneeee. Alsooo…”_

If you could see voices, Akira imagined that Ann’s voice would probably be described as “blurry” right about now. 

_“The theme is glitter so we’re going to see one of my personal stylists and get a total makeover! It’ll be so fun! C’mon Akira. Say yes. Pretty please. It’s not like you’re doing anything. Right?”_

Akira opened his mouth to let Ann know that, as he was a mere peasant, he did in fact need to work for a living, when Lala yelled at him:

“Oh, Akira! I forgot, we’re overstaffed tomorrow, you don’t have to work! Don’t you dare come in.” Akira turned around and shot her an ugly glare. Ann’s voice was so loud that it had apparently reached Lala at the other end of the bar. Lala winked at him and mouthed: “You’re welcome.”

“Fine. I’ll go. Can you pick me up? And what was that about glitter?” The scream from the other end of his phone reminded him that he did, in fact, still have a headache. 

_“Greatttt!!! Ohhh Akiraa we’re going to have so much fun. There’s going to be so many hot people there. See yaaa tomorrow.”_

Akira hung up the phone and shook his head. Ann did this all the time. Every so often she’d pop out of the blue and drag him or Ryuji along to one of her ridiculous modeling events. The last one involved him and Ryuji dancing with the freaking duchess and duke of two separate countries in Europe. Ryuji had to remind him the next day that Akira had made out with both of them (at separate times had to remind him), and he gave Akira a crisp high five to celebrate. Ann was less than impressed with their antics and let Ryuji know that he wasn’t coming along with her to parties for a while because he and Akira had caused drama within the royal families of Europe. Akira tried to tell her it was technically her fault for introducing them to the royal guests that were trying to escape their royal duties, but she just denied her involvement and went back to sleep.

Ryuji still swears it was the best party he ever went to.

Akira wished to the ceiling of Crossroads that his best friend would magically return from his university track competition tomorrow and help him deal with Ann. Instead, he found himself being pushed out of the door by Lala. “Now remember what I said- go have fun. And whatever you do, don’t come to work tomorrow…or you’re fired!” Lala laughed at Akira and slammed the door behind him. 

Head pounding, Akira headed home. He was grateful for Lala, and even though he was a bit annoyed, he was grateful for Ann as well. A good night out was what he needed to take his mind off of things, and it was always a wild ride with Ann. He wondered what she would be getting him into this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for reading my first ever fic on this site! I finished Royal last month and have spent a lot of time thinking up fun ways for this complicated couple to come together again! I look forward to writing the next chapter where we get to see Akira and Ann all dressed up and glittered out! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think- constructive criticism is very welcome. I've already done some edits today, and I can't wait to get better with the more I write!


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